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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Yuan Yanbo was a minister of the Ministry of Personnel, Zijing wrote to Xi Jiabin: "Yanbo has come in, which is enough to revive my spirit. Therefore, I know that it is difficult for me to beat him, and I hope that he will be rejected a little and then he will be promoted again."
Then why is it three years? Answer: The closest relatives are separated by a period. Why is that? Answer: The heaven and earth have changed, the four seasons have changed, and everything in the heaven and earth has been renewed, so it is a symbol. Then why is it three years? Answer: It is to add more, so why double it, so it is a double period. Why is it from September to below? Answer: Why not make it less than that. Therefore, three years is a period of mourning, a small mourning is a period of mourning, and a period of nine months is a period of mourning. Take the image from the sky above, the law from the earth below, and the example from people in the middle, and the principle of human beings living together and in harmony is complete. Therefore, the three-year mourning is the most elegant of human nature, and this is called the most solemn. This is the same for all kings, and the same for ancient and modern times, but no one knows where it comes from. Confucius said: "After three years of life, one can escape from the embrace of parents; the three-year mourning is the most common mourning in the world."
Emperor Wu of Jin asked Sun Hao, "I heard that people in the south like to compose songs like 'You'. Can you compose it?" Hao was drinking, so he raised his cup to persuade the emperor and said, "I was your neighbor in the past, and now I am your subject. I'll give you a cup of wine, and may you live forever." The emperor regretted it.
The monk Yi was in the Waguun Temple. Wang Gouzi came and talked with him, so the monk asked him to recite the principles. The monk asked the king, "Does a sage have feelings?" The king said, "No." The monk asked again, "Is a sage like a pillar?" The king said, "Like a calculation stick. Although it has no feelings, the one who moves it has feelings." The monk thought, "Who moves the sage?" Gou Zi left without an answer.
Zhang Xuanzhi and Gu Fu were the grandchildren of Gu Hezhong. Both of them were smart and intelligent since they were young. He knew it, and often said that Gu Sheng was too close to Zhang, which made Zhang quite unhappy. At that time, Zhang was nine years old and Gu was seven years old. They went to the temple together. When they saw the Buddha's Nirvana statue, some of the disciples cried, while some did not. They asked their two grandsons about it. Xuan said, "Weep when you are loved by others, and don't cry when you are not loved by others." Fu said: "No, it is because I forgot my feelings that I did not cry, and I could not forget my feelings that I cried."
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