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Mrs. Xi, the wife of Wang Youjun, said to her two younger brothers, Sikong and Zhonglang, "When the Wang family saw the two Xies, they were very happy; but when they saw you, they were indifferent. You don't need to bother to go again."
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
A son is named not because of his country, not because of the sun and the moon, not because of his hidden illness, not because of the mountains and rivers.
Sun Anguo went to Yinzhongjun Xu to discuss, and came back with great effort, so that both the host and the guest had no time to spare. Eat left and right, and the temperature will rise again four times. We threw our whisks away and they all fell off, filling the rice. When the host and the guests arrive, don't forget to eat. Yin said to Sun: "Don't be a stubborn horse, I will pierce your nose." Sun said: "You have never seen a bull with a broken nose, I will pierce your cheek."
Wang Junfu once blamed a woman for not wearing the remaining robes, so she stayed in her room with her chopsticks closed and did not allow anyone to go out. As a result, he was hungry for days and was lost, not knowing where to go. Later, due to the combination of fate, he was on the verge of death and was finally able to get out.
Zhongni tasted it, offering sacrifices to his parents was sincere, and his steps were hurried and counted. After the sacrifice, Zi Gan asked, "When you said sacrifice, it was full of people and clear. But now your sacrifice is not full of people and clear. Why is that?" Confucius said, "Full of people means that one is far away; clear of people means that one is self-reflective. If one is far away, or if one is self-reflective, how can the gods communicate with each other, and how can there be full of people and clear of people? Feedback, music is complete, offer the offerings, arrange the rituals and music, and prepare all the officials. A gentleman is full of people and clear of people, how can he be confused? Is there only one thing to say? Everyone has his own duties."
Youzi asked Zengzi: "Have you asked about funerals, Master?" He said: "I have heard that funerals want to get poor quickly, and death wants to decay quickly." Youzi said: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen heard it from the Master." Youzi said again: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen and Ziyou heard it." Youzi said: "Yes, then the Master said it for a reason." Zengzi told Ziyou this. Ziyou said, "How wonderful! Youzi's words are similar to yours. Once upon a time, when the Master was living in Song, he saw Sima Huan making a stone coffin for himself, which took three years to complete. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to decay quickly than to die.' The desire to decay quickly was what Sima Huan said. When Nangong Jingshu returned, he would bring treasures with him to the court. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to become poor quickly than to be buried.' The desire to become poor quickly was what Jingshu said." Zengzi told him what Ziyou said. When Youzi was talking to Youzi, Youzi said, "Yes, I have always said that this is not what the Master said." Zengzi said, "How do you know this?" Youzi said, "The Master made a four-inch coffin and a five-inch outer coffin in Zhongdu, so he knew that he did not want to decay quickly. In the past, when the Master lost the position of Sikou of Lu and was about to go to Jing, he first asked Zixia and then Ran You, so he knew that he did not want to become poor quickly."
When the king's messenger arrives, the host should come out and bow to show his disgrace to the king's words; when the messenger returns, he must bow and see him off at the door. If you send someone to the king's place, you must dress in court and give orders; if the envoy returns, you must go downstairs and receive orders.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
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