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Therefore, the rite of audience is to clarify the righteousness between the monarch and the ministers. The rite of marriage is to make the princes respect each other. The rite of funeral and sacrifice is to clarify the grace of the ministers. The rite of drinking in the village is to clarify the order of the elders and the young. The rite of marriage is to clarify the difference between men and women. Rites are the source of restraint and chaos, just like the source of water in the village. Therefore, those who destroy the old temple because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water; those who destroy the old ritual because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water.
The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
When you are about to move away, don't make things too tight. When you are about to go to class, your voice must be loud. There are two shoes outside. If you hear the words, you can enter. If you don’t hear the words, you can’t enter. When entering a house, one must look down. When entering a house, lock the door firmly and do not look back; when the door is opened, open it; when the door is closed, close it; if someone comes in later, lock the door and do not let them in. Do not step on shoes, do not step on mats, and do not move towards corners by picking up clothes. Be cautious and keep your promises.
In mourning, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the same age, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the scholar, one should not eat for one day. Therefore, in the funeral of parents, after the funeral, one should eat porridge, and in the morning, one should spill one rice, and no one should spill one rice; in mourning of the same age, one should eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat soy sauce; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not drink sweet wine. This is the expression of grief in food and drink.
Huan Xuanwu was not very understanding in talking to Emperor Jianwen. After deposing Haixi, he should explain himself, so he wrote several hundred words in advance to explain his intention to depose and establish the throne. When he saw Jianwen, he burst into tears for dozens of lines. Xuanwu was so ashamed that he could not say a word.
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
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