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Men and women do not know each other without a matchmaker; they do not interact or get close to each other without money. Therefore, the sun and the moon are used to inform the king, and all warnings are used to inform the ghosts and gods. Wine and food are prepared to invite neighbors and colleagues to show their respect.
The way to display the utensils is to display more and then accept them sparingly; to display sparingly and accept them all is fine. When rushing to the funeral of a brother, first go to the tomb and then the family, and cry for the position. For the funeral of someone you know, cry in the palace and then the tomb. A father shall not be the son of many sons and the outsiders shall be the next. Brothers with princes shall be beheaded. For minor mourning, the belt, hemp and linen shall not be cut off, and the woman shall return to repay the loss.
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
Even if there are delicious dishes, if you don't eat them, you don't know their taste; even if there are the ultimate truth, if you don't learn it, you don't know its goodness. Therefore, only after learning can you know your shortcomings, and only after teaching can you know your difficulties. Knowing your shortcomings, you can reflect on yourself; knowing your difficulties, you can strengthen yourself. Therefore, it is said that teaching and learning complement each other. "The Book of Changes" says: "Learning is half done." Is this what it means!
When Xi Jiabin died, his attendants told Xi Gong that "his husband has passed away." Upon hearing this, Xi Gong was not sad, but said to his attendants, "We can tell you during the funeral." When Xi Gong went to the funeral, he was so sad that he almost died.
Yu, the staff shall not be brought into the room; bu, the staff shall not be raised in the hall. If you are the descendant of the monarch's mother, when the monarch's mother dies, you shall not wear the party clothes of the monarch's mother. The sash shall be reduced by one-fifth and the staff shall be as big as the sash. If a concubine is the eldest son of the monarch, she shall be treated the same as the daughter of the monarch. When the mourning is over, the heavier one is worn first; when the mourning is changed, the lighter one is changed. The temple gate is opened for no reason. All mourning is done in the next place. The inscription is written again, and the words are the same from the emperor to the scholar. Men are called by their names, and women write their surnames and their brothers and sisters. If the surname is unknown, they write their clan names.
The destiny of heaven is called nature, following nature is called the way, and cultivating the way is called teaching. The way cannot be separated for a moment, and it is not the way if it can be separated. Therefore, the gentleman is cautious about what he does not see and fearful of what he does not hear. Nothing is more hidden than the hidden, and nothing is more obvious than the subtle, so the gentleman is cautious when he is alone. When joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are not expressed, it is called the middle; when they are expressed in moderation, it is called harmony; the middle is the great foundation of the world; harmony is the way of the world. When the middle and harmony are achieved, heaven and earth are in their proper places, and all things are nurtured.
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