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When the dukes met before the appointed time, it was called "yu", and when they met in the land, it was called "hui". When the dukes sent officials to ask the dukes, it was called "pin", when they made promises, it was called "shi", and when they attended the sacrifice, it was called "meng".
When Zhuge Daoming first crossed the Jiangzuo River, he named himself Daoming, which was second only to Wang and Yu. He was first the magistrate of Linyi, and the prime minister said to him, "Your Excellency should be the black-headed official."
When serving an elder, one should not go into the hall with his shoes on, and one should not stand on the steps without taking off his shoes. Take off the shoes, kneel down and lift them up, then put them aside. The village elders wear sandals; they kneel to remove the sandals and bend down to put them on.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
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