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Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
Zhong Yu was a Huangmen Lang. He was alert and was at the banquet with King Jing. At that time, Xuanbo, the son of Chen Qun, and Yuanxia, the son of Wu Zhou, were sitting together and they laughed at Yu. King Jing asked, "What kind of person is Gao Yao?" He replied, "He is a virtuous man in ancient times." Turning back to Xuanbo and Yuanxia, he said, "A gentleman is inclusive but not partial, and he is a group but not a party."
Wang Ziyou served as a cavalry officer under Huan. Huan asked, "What is your department?" He replied, "I don't know. I see horses coming from time to time. I think I am in the horse department." Huan asked again, "How many horses do you have?" He replied, "If I don't ask about the horses, how can I know the number?" Huan asked again, "How many horses are dead?" He replied, "If I don't know the living, how can I know the dead?"
During the funeral of Confucius, Gong Xichi wrote a memorial: decorating the coffin and the wall, setting up the bamboo and the shawl, which was Zhou; setting up the Chong, which was Yin; setting up the silk and the flag, which was Xia.
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