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When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
Song Xi was once a concubine of General Wang, and later belonged to Xie Zhenxi. Zhenxi asked Xi: "How am I compared to the king?" He replied: "The king is like you, a farmer and a nobleman!" This was because Zhenxi was a seductive woman.
Wang Jingyu had a handsome appearance and asked about the prince. The prince patted his shoulder and said, "Anu, I regret that your talent is not worthy of your name!" He also said, "Jingyu is like you in everything."
Duke Wen liked to speak slowly, while Duke Bian was a man of courtesy and rules. When they reached Yu Gongxu, they had a big fight. Wen started to speak vulgarly, and Yu Gong said slowly: "Taizhen never speaks vulgarly all day long."
When Dai Yuan was young, he was a knight-errant who did not discipline himself and often attacked and robbed merchants between the Yangtze River and the Huai River. When Lu Ji returned to Luoyang for vacation, he had a huge baggage train. Yuan sent the young men to plunder. Yuan was on the shore, sitting on a Hu couch, directing his men and women, and they all did their job appropriately. Yuan was a man of great talent and intelligence. Although he was in a humble position, his spirit was still extraordinary. Ji said to him from afar on the boat, "You are so talented, but you still want to cause trouble?" Yuan burst into tears, threw his sword back to Ji, and spoke harshly to him. Ji valued him more and made him his friend, and wrote a letter to recommend him. After crossing the river, he was promoted to General Zhengxi.
The Book of Rites says: "A gentleman embraces his grandson but not his son." This means that a grandson can serve as the king's father's corpse, but a son cannot serve as his father's corpse. When a great official sees a corpse of a king, he should bow down. If the king knows why he is preparing a corpse, he should bow down himself, and the corpse must be arranged in a proper manner. The carriage must be on a platform.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
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