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Funny and embarrassing things: The dark emperor and the rebellious concubine

For a senior official or a concubine of a noble family, the king should make a large coffin; if he gives a gift to the concubine, he should make a small coffin. For a concubine of a noble family, the king should come after the funeral. For a scholar, he should go after the funeral; if he gives a gift to the concubine, he should make a large coffin. For a concubine of a noble family, the lady should make a large coffin; if he gives a gift to the concubine, she should make a small coffin. For all wives, she should make a gift to the concubine and make a large coffin. For a concubine of a senior official or scholar, the king should go after the funeral. When a senior official or scholar is buried, the king should send someone to warn him, and the host should prepare a solemn offering and wait outside the gate. When he sees the horse's head, he should enter the right first. The witch should stop outside the gate. The king should take over first, and the king should place food inside the gate. The witch should ascend the steps of the east first, and face south with his back to the wall. The king should ascend the throne of the east. Two junior officials should stand in front with spears, and two should stand behind. When the emissary enters, the host bows and kowtows. When the king says his words, he looks at the prayer and dances, and the host dances. The great official may offer the sacrifice. The scholar shall wait outside the door, and when ordered to offer the sacrifice, he shall do so. After the sacrifice, the host shall wait outside the door first, and the king shall leave, and the host shall see him off outside the door, bowing and kowtows. When the king asks about the illness of the great official three times, and if he is in the funeral, he shall go there three times; when the scholar is ill, he shall ask once, and if he is in the funeral, he shall go there once. When the king offers condolences, he shall put on the funeral clothes. When the lady offers condolences to the great official or scholar, the host shall meet her outside the door, see the horse's head, and enter the door to the right first. The lady enters, ascends the hall and takes the throne. The mistress descends from the west steps, bows and kowtows below. The lady looks at the crown prince and dances. Offering the sacrifice is the same as when the king arrives. When the lady leaves, the mistress sees her off inside the door, bows and kowtows; the host sees her off outside the gate without bowing. The great official and the king shall not meet him outside the door. Enter and take the throne at the bottom of the hall. The host faces north, and the other hosts face south; the woman takes the seat in the room. If there is a king's order, the husband and the wife shall follow the order, and the neighbors and guests, the king should bow after the host. When the king mourns, he should see the coffin and then dance. If the ministers and scholars go without the king's warning, they should not prepare a solemn offering; the king must offer an offering after he leaves.

Fireworks

Wang Zijing went from Kuaiji to Wu and heard that Gu Pijiang had a famous garden. I didn't recognize the host at first, so I went straight to his house, where I saw Gu gathering his guests and friends for a drunken feast. When the king finished his travels, he gave orders about his likes and dislikes as if no one was around. Gu was furious and said, "To be arrogant to the master is not polite; to be arrogant to others because of one's status is not the right way. If one loses these two, he is not worthy of being a human being and is a fool!" He then drove his attendants out of the door. The king turned around alone in the carriage, looked left and right, but saw no one coming. Then he ordered the chopsticks to be sent out the door, looking disdainful.

Cultivation Grocery Store

When you are near the water, you should reach for the stars

There's a demon here.

The wet nurse of Emperor Wu of Han once committed a crime outside. The emperor wanted to enforce the law, and the wet nurse asked Dongfang Shuo for help. Shuo said, "This is not a matter of argument. If you really want to be saved, you should look back at the emperor many times before leaving and be careful not to say anything! This may be a one in a million hope." When the wet nurse arrived, Shuo was also serving by her side, so he said to her, "You are foolish! Does the emperor still remember the kindness he showed when you were feeding him?" Although the emperor was talented and strong-willed, he also had deep feelings for her, so he felt sad for her and immediately ordered her to be pardoned.

Divorce, Your Highness

When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."