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Grand Tutor Xie asked his sons and nephews, "Why do you want to make them good when you are involved in other people's affairs?" No one said anything. The charioteer answered, "It's like wanting orchids and jade trees to grow in the courtyard."
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
He Cidao went to the Prime Minister's place. The Prime Minister pointed at the seat with his whisk and called He to sit with him, saying, "Come! Come! This is your seat."
Sun Yizuo Lixian Shang Qiu Zizan said: "What kind of thing is shepherding? It's almost not a real pig. When I encounter the wind and clouds, I am a dragon." Many people at that time thought that they could.
The Son of Heaven is equal to Heaven and Earth. Therefore, virtue matches heaven and earth, and benefits all things. It is as bright as the sun and the moon, illuminating the four seas without leaving out the small. In the court, the order of benevolence, holiness, propriety and righteousness is followed; in banquets, the music of Ya and Song is listened to; when walking, there is the sound of rings and pendants; when riding in a car, there is the sound of phoenixes and harmonious birds. There is propriety in residence, and there is moderation in advance and retreat. All officials are in their proper place, and all things are in their proper order. The Book of Songs says: "A virtuous man and a gentleman, his etiquette is not wrong. If his etiquette is not wrong, it will be the right way for the four countries." This is what it means. When the people are pleased with orders and decrees, it is called harmony; when the upper and lower are close to each other, it is called benevolence; when the people get what they want without asking for it, it is called trust; and when the harm of heaven and earth is removed, it is called righteousness. Righteousness and trustworthiness, harmony and benevolence are the tools of a hegemon. If there is the intention to govern the people but there is no tool, it will not work.
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
The Master said: "I know that the Way is not working: the wise go beyond it, the foolish fall short of it. I know that the Way is not clear: the wise go beyond it, the unworthy fall short of it. Everyone eats and drinks, but few can appreciate the taste."
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
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