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After Xie Wan Shouchun was defeated, Jianwen asked Xi Chao: "Wan was defeated, why did you lose the feelings of your soldiers?" Chao said: "He wanted to distinguish between the wise and the brave because of his nature of leading by example."
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
When Emperor Xiaowu of Jin was twelve years old, it was winter. He did not change his clothes during the day, but only wore five or six layers of single cotton clothes, and slept on a mat at night. Xie Gong advised, "Your Majesty's body should be kept in a regular state. Your Majesty is too cold during the day and too hot at night. I'm afraid this is not the right way to keep healthy." The emperor said, "Be active during the day and quiet at night." Xie Gong left and sighed, "You are no less rational than the previous emperor."
When there is a funeral, if you hear of the funeral of a distant brother, you must go even if you are in mourning; if you are not a brother, you will not go even if you are a neighbor. All the brothers who do not live together will pay their respects. The emperor's coffin has four layers; the water rhinoceros leather coffin is covered with it, which is three inches thick, one 杷 coffin, two 杷 coffins, and all four are round. The coffin is tied with two 杷 three, and each 衛 is tied with one. The coffin of the uncle is six feet long at the end.
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