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Shan Situ had selected almost all the officials and made no mistakes in his selections. All the topics are as they say. Only Lu Liang was employed, as he was appointed by the imperial edict, and his opinion was different from yours, so you argued against it and refused to follow his advice. Liang also failed in his attempt to take bribes.
Jian Wen said to Wang Huaizu: "You are not very talented, but you are not indifferent to fame and wealth; just a little bit of sincerity and honesty is enough to show a lot to others."
Emperor Wu of Wei once passed by the Cao'e stele, and Yang Xiu followed him. On the back of the stele there was an inscription of eight characters: "young woman with yellow silk, grandson Jue". Wei Wu asked Xiu, "Do you understand it?" Xiu replied, "I understand." Wei Wu said, "You can't tell me yet. Let me think about it." After walking for thirty miles, Wei Wu said, "I have figured it out." He asked Xiu to write down what he had learned. Xiu said: "Yellow silk is colored silk, and the word for it is absolutely perfect. Young woman is a young girl, and the word for it is wonderful. Grandson is a girl, and the word for it is good. Juejiu is suffering, and the word for it is words. This is what is called 'absolutely wonderful and good words'." Wei Wu also memorized it, and he agreed with Xiu, so he sighed and said: "I am not as talented as you, and I feel thirty miles behind."
Wang Yifu had a handsome appearance and was good at talking about profound things. He held the white jade-handled horsehair whisk tail, which was indistinguishable from his hand.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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