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In the sixth year of Yongjia, Wei Xima died. Xie Kun cried for him, which moved passers-by. During the Xianhe period, the Prime Minister Wang Gong advised: "Wei Xima should be reburied. He was a famous and elegant man, admired by the whole country. We can offer a small sacrifice to maintain the old friendship."
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
King Sima Jing went on an expedition to the east and captured Li Xi of Shangdang and made him a Zhonglang Attendant. He then asked Xi, "My father invited you to come, but you refused. Now I am calling you. Why did you come?" Xi replied, "My father treated me with courtesy, so I was able to advance and retreat with courtesy. You are a man of law, and I came here out of fear of the law!"
When the husband of an aunt or sister dies, and there are no brothers in the husband's party, let the husband's family members take charge of the funeral. The wife's party, even if they are close, do not take charge. If the husband has no family, then the front and back families, the east and west families; if there is none, then the village Yin will take charge. Some say: take charge, and attach to the husband's party.
Xie Huzi once went up to the roof to smoke rats. Since Hu'er had no way of knowing what his father had done, he heard people say, "Only a fool would do such a thing." Joking about it. The saying of the time is not the only one that can make this mistake. The Taifu realized his ignorance and, following his words, said to Hu'er, "People in the world are slandering Zhonglang for this, and also saying that I was involved in this." Hu'er was upset and stayed at home for a month without going out. The Taifu falsely cited his own mistakes to enlighten others, which can be regarded as moral teaching.
When Duke Mu's mother died, he sent someone to ask Zengzi, "What should I do?" Zengzi replied, "Shen heard from Shen's father that the sorrow of weeping, the feeling of beheading in Qi, and the food of porridge all reached the emperor. The cloth curtain is Wei; the gauze curtain is Lu." Duke Xian of Jin was about to kill his crown prince Shensheng. Prince Chong'er said to him, "Did you tell the duke about your intention?" The crown prince said, "No, you are saying that I want to kill you, is there a country without a father in the world? How can I do that?" He sent someone to say goodbye to Hu Tu, saying, "Shensheng is guilty of not thinking about Bo's words, and he is going to die. Shensheng dare not love his death. However, my king is old, his son is young, and the country is in trouble. Bo's family does not come out and plot against my king. If Bo's family comes out and plots against my king, Shensheng will accept the gift and die." He bowed twice and died. He was called "Gong Crown Prince".
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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