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》 says: "Filial sons are not lacking." Confucius said: "To be harmonious with the party of parents can be called filial. Therefore, the gentleman uses harmony to unite the clan." The Book of Songs says: "This makes brothers more than enough; not to be so, brothers will be more friendly."
When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
After Duke Huan abolished Haixi and established Jianwen, the attendant Xie Gong met Duke Huan and paid homage to him. Huan was surprised and laughed, "Anshi, what brings you here?" Xie replied, "I have never seen a king bow before me and a minister stand behind me!"
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