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The etiquette of being a minister: do not make public remonstrances. If you remonstrate three times and he does not listen, then flee.
When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
Arrogance cannot be allowed to grow excessive, desires cannot be followed, ambitions cannot be satisfied, and happiness cannot be taken to the extreme.
When Bo Yu's mother died, he cried even after a certain period of time. The Master heard about it and said: "Who is crying with you?" The disciple said: "It's the carp." The Master said: "Hey! It's too much." Bo Yu heard about it and then got rid of it.
Ziyun: "Rites are used to clarify doubts and distinguish subtle things, which are used to censor the people. "Therefore, the noble and the humble have different levels, clothes are different, and there are positions in the court, so the people will give way to each other. Confucius said: "There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two masters in the family, and no two superiors. This shows the people that there is a difference between the monarch and the minister." The Spring and Autumn Annals does not refer to the funeral of the king of Chu and Yue, the ritual king does not refer to the sky, and the officials do not refer to the monarch, fearing that the people will be confused. The Book of Songs says: "Why don't we meet each other in the morning? I am still worried about it." Confucius said: "The king does not ride in the same car with people of the same surname, and ride in the same car with people of different surnames but wear different clothes, showing that the people do not dislike it." In this way, the people can still kill their monarch with the same surname.
When Wen Bo died, Jing Jiang sat on his bed without crying, saying, "In the past, I had Si Zi, and I thought he would be a wise man, so I never went to the public office; now when he died, none of my friends and ministers shed tears, but the women in the house all cried loudly. Si Zi must have been very unruly!" When Ji Kangzi's mother died, he laid out his underwear. Jing Jiang said, "A woman who does not wear clothes dare not meet her parents-in-law. There will be guests from all over the world coming. Why should she display her underwear here?" She ordered to remove it.
Zhi Daoling and Yin Yuanyuan were both in Xiangwang Xu. The King of Xiang said to the two men, "You can try to have a conversation with them. Your talents and natures are probably as solid as those of the two states of Yao and Han, so you better be careful!" Zhi started to act, but then he changed his tune and kept his distance. After a few conversations, he unknowingly entered into their mystery. The Prince of Xiang stroked his shoulder and said with a smile: "This is his victory. How can we argue with him?"
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