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When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
The wise man treats others with familiarity and respect, and fears and loves them. Love something and you will know its evil; hate something and you will know its good. Accumulate and be able to disperse, be at peace and be able to move. When faced with wealth, do not be careless in taking it; when faced with danger, do not be careless in avoiding it. Don't seek to win, don't seek to get more points. When in doubt, do not question; be honest and do not boast.
Emperor Wu once visited King Wuzi's house, and King Wuzi provided him with food and used colored glass utensils. There were more than a hundred maids, all wearing silk and satin, and holding food and drink with their hands. The stewed pork is fat and delicious, different from other dishes. The emperor was surprised and asked about it, and the answer was: "Drinking human milk from pigs." The emperor was very upset and left before finishing his meal. Wang and Shi are not aware of this work.
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
Gu Changkang bites the sugarcane, first eats the tail, asks why, cloud: "Gradually to the best."
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