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Zhongni said: "The gentleman is moderate, the villain is the opposite of the moderate. The gentleman's moderation is the gentleman who is moderate at times; the villain's moderation is the villain who is unscrupulous."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
The senior officials lower their concubines’ sons, and their grandchildren do not lower their fathers. Senior officials do not preside over the mourning of scholars. There is no mourning for the parents of the loving mother. If the husband is the descendant, his wife is the great merit of the uncle and aunt. If the scholar is buried with the senior officials, the sacrifice is changed. If the stepfather does not live with him, he must live with him once. There is no master descendant. Sharing wealth and offering sacrifices to the ancestors is considered living together; if there is a master descendant, it is considered living separately. Those who mourn for their friends should face south to the right outside the door. Those who are buried with their parents do not use divination to predict their house. Scholars and officials cannot be buried with princes. They can be buried with their grandfathers. For scholars and officials, their wives are buried with their aunts and grandparents, and their concubines are buried with their grandparents. If they die, the first and second sons can be buried with them. They must be buried according to the order of the ancestors. Princes cannot be buried with the emperor. The emperor, princes, and officials can be buried with scholars.
Zhong Shiji was a man of intelligence and talent, but he did not know Ji Kang at first. Zhong Yao and other talented and wise men of the time went to look for Kang. Kang Fang was forging iron under a big tree, and Xiang Ziqi was assisting him in beating the drums. Kang Yang continued to hammer as if no one was around, and did not say a word for some time. Zhong got up and left. Kang asked, "What did you hear and why did you come? What did you see and why did you leave?" Zhong said, "I came because I heard and I left because I saw."
Whenever Huan Changshi heard people talking about Lord Shen, he would say, "This man has a long-standing reputation, is well-known by our ancestors, and is also a close friend of our ancestors. It is not appropriate to talk about him."
Wei Wu went to war, lost the way, the army was thirsty, so he ordered: "There is a big plum forest in front, Rao Zi, sweet and sour, can quench thirst.
Tang, all have one virtue. ’ The Book of Songs says: ‘A virtuous man and a gentleman, his manners are not wrong. ’”
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