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The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
Gu Shao once had a conversation with Pang Shiyuan, who asked, "I heard that you are famous for knowing people. Who is better, me or you?" He replied, "In terms of being influenced by the world and rising and falling with the times, I am not as good as you; but in discussing the remaining strategies of kingship and hegemony and viewing the key points of reliance, I seem to be one day better than you." Shao also felt at ease with his words.
Han Kang's aunt Yin followed Sun Huizhi to Hengyang and met Huan Nanjun in Heluzhou. Bian Ju was his grandson and came to inquire about his life from time to time. He said to Ju: "If I don't die, I will see this guy become a thief for the second time!" After several years in Hengyang, Huizhi encountered the disaster of Huan Jingzhen. Yin stroked his corpse and cried, "Your father was dismissed from Yuzhang, and the conscription letter was sent out in the morning and evening. You left the county for several years, and you were unable to move because of things, and then you were caught in the disaster. What else can I say?"
Emperor Ming was in the West Hall, drinking with the officials. Although they were not drunk, the emperor asked, "How do the famous ministers gathered here today compare to Yao and Shun?" Zhou Boren was the Minister of State at that time, so he said in a stern voice, "Although we are the same ruler now, how can we be equal to the sage's rule!" The emperor was furious, went back inside, wrote a handwritten edict on a whole yellow paper, and gave it to the Chief Justice to collect, as he wanted to kill him. A few days later, the emperor ordered Zhou to leave and all the officials went to visit him. Zhou said: "I know now that I should not be put to death. My crime is not serious enough."
Confucius shot in the garden of the prime minister, and the spectators were like a wall. When shooting reached Sima, he asked Zilu to hold the bow and arrow, and went out to shoot and said: "The generals of the Ben army, the great officials who lost the country, and those who were behind others will not enter, and the rest will enter." Half of them left and half entered. He also ordered Gongwangzhiqiu and Xudian to hold up a cup and speak. Gongwangzhiqiu held up a cup and spoke, saying: "Those who are filial and respectful to their brothers when young and strong, and who are courteous and polite when old and old, who do not follow the trend and cultivate themselves to wait for death, are not in this position." Half of them left, and half stayed. Xudian held up a cup again and spoke, saying: "Those who are eager to learn, who are unchanging in their love of etiquette, and who praise the way without disorder during the period of the flag period, are not in this position." Only those who survived.
Wang Ziyou went to see Mr. Xie and asked, "What is a seven-character poem?" Ziyou answered, "It is as majestic as a colt that can run a thousand miles, and as light as a duck in the water."
Mrs. Xie drew the curtain and asked the maids to perform in front of her so that the tutor could see them for a while, and then the curtain was lowered. The Grand Master asked for another opening, but the Lady said, "I am afraid it will hurt Shengde."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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