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Nanyang Zong Shilin was a contemporary of Wei Wu, but Wei Wu despised him as a person and did not associate with him. When Wei Wu became Sikong and was in charge of government affairs, he calmly asked Zong, "Can I befriend you?" Zong replied, "The ambition of pine and cypress still remains." Shi Lin was dismissed for disobeying the emperor's order, and his position was not worthy of his virtue. Whenever Emperor Wen's brothers visited his door, they would bow alone under the bed. This was their etiquette for greeting.
Kong Pushe was the attendant of Emperor Xiaowu, and was invited to visit Emperor Liezong's tomb in advance. Kong was the Minister of Rites at the time. He was thin and frail, and wore heavy mourning clothes. He cried all day long, and those who saw him thought he was a truly filial son.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Taifu Xie had not yet come of age and had just left for the west, he went to see Changshi Wang and had a long and clear conversation with him. After he left, Gou Zi asked, "How respectful is Xiangke?" The chief secretary said, "Xiangke is so noisy that he is coming to force people."
When Wang Xiaobo was traveling in Beijing, he came to his brother Wang Du's house and asked, "Which line in ancient poetry is the best?" Du thought for a moment but did not answer. Xiao Bo chanted, "'How can I not age quickly if I encounter things without a reason?' This line is good."
The three brothers Wang Huangmen all went to see Xie Gong. Ziyou and Zizhong talked a lot about worldly matters, while Zijing just exchanged greetings. After he left, a guest asked Xie Gong, "Who of the three sages is better?" Xie Gong said, "The younger one is the best." The guest asked, "How do you know that?" Xie Gong said, "Auspicious people speak less, while impetuous people speak more. I can tell this by inference."
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