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Zi Zhang asked: "The Book of Documents says: 'Emperor Gaozong did not speak for three years, and he was happy when he spoke.' Is it true?" Zhongni said: "Why is it not true? In ancient times, when the emperor died, the crown prince listened to the prime minister for three years."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
Zhang Jiying was appointed as the Eastern Cao official by King Qi. When he was in Luoyang, he saw the autumn wind rising and thought of the mushroom and vegetable soup and sea bass sashimi in Wu. He said, "It is important to be comfortable in life. Why should I travel thousands of miles to seek fame and title!" So he ordered his carriage to return. Soon the King of Qi was defeated, and people at that time all said that it was a sign of good fortune.
Wang Changshi wrote to the Grand Marshal, "He knows where to go and is worthy of being a part of the conversation."
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