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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Ji Kang was seven feet and eight inches tall, with a very handsome appearance. Someone who saw it exclaimed, "It was solemn and clear, refreshing and clear." Someone else said, "It was solemn and clear, like the wind under a pine tree, high and slow." Shan Gong said, "Ji Shuye was a man who was as independent as a solitary pine tree; when he was drunk, he was like a jade mountain about to collapse."
When parents die, before offering sacrifices, brothers die; after the funeral, offering sacrifices are made. If they are in the same palace, even if they are servants or concubines, offering sacrifices are made after the funeral. During sacrifices, the host's ranks are divided, and the attendants are also divided. Even the Yu Fu are the same. From the princes to the scholars, during the minor sacrifices, the host spits when offering wine; the guests and brothers all spit at it. For the major sacrifices, the host spits, and the guests and brothers all drink it. Those who attend the sacrifices and funerals tell the guests to offer sacrifices but not to eat.
Bo Gao died in Wei and went to Confucius. Confucius said: "Why should I cry? For my brothers, I cry in the temple; for my father's friends, I cry outside the temple gate; for my teacher, I cry in the bedroom; for my friends, I cry outside the bedroom door; for my acquaintances, I cry in the wild. In the wild, it is already distant; in the bedroom, it is already important. Since You Ci came to see me, I cried to Ci's family." Then he ordered Zigong to be the host and said: "If you come to cry for you, bow to him; if you know that Bo Gao came, don't bow."
The clothes are on the body, but it is not known that they are called "wang". If there is no candle and someone comes later, tell the one who is there. The same is true for the blind. Whenever someone drinks wine and offers it to the host, hold the candle and hold it until it is burnt. The guest gets up and says goodbye, and then give it to others. Hold the candle and do not give way, do not say goodbye, and do not sing. Those who wash and wash their hands and eat and drink should not be angry. If asked, they should answer with their sleeves. Offering sacrifices to others is called "zhifu"; offering sacrifices to oneself and offering food to a gentleman is called "shan"; offering sacrifices to the gentleman is called "gao". Whenever a meal is reported to a gentleman, the host will unfold it and give it to the messenger to the south of the steps on the east side, and face south and bow twice to send it off; when the order is returned, the host will bow again and bow. The ritual: for a large sacrifice, use nine pieces of the left shoulder, arm, and leg of an ox; for a small sacrifice, use seven pieces of the left shoulder of a sheep; for a special pig, use five pieces of the left shoulder of a pig. If the country is not poor, then the chariots will not be carved, the armor will not be woven, the food utensils will not be engraved, the gentlemen will not wear silk shoes, and the horses will not be fed regularly.
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
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