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During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
Zhi Zhan once served as the governor of four counties, the assistant military officer of the General's Household Department, and was later appointed as the Internal Historian at the age of 29. Once, Wang Dun said to Zhan: "You are not even thirty years old, but you have already become a magistrate, which is too young." Zhan said: "Compared to the general, I am too young; compared to Gan Luo, I am already too old."
Zi SiWhen his mother died in Wei, Liu Ruo said to Zisi: "You are the descendant of a sage. People from all over the world come to you to observe the rites. You should be careful." Zisi said: "Why should I be careful? I heard that if there is the rite but not the money, a gentleman will not do it; if there is the rite and the money but not the time, a gentleman will not do it. Why should I be careful!"
Chen Zhonggong was the head of Taiqiu. At that time, an official falsely claimed that his mother was ill and asked for leave. The matter was discovered and he was arrested and killed by the officials. The chief clerk requested that he be sent to prison to investigate the traitors. Zhonggong said: "To deceive the king is disloyal, and to make one's mother sick is unfilial. Disloyalty and unfiliality are the greatest crimes. If we examine all the treacherous people, is there anything worse than this?"
Those who follow others in mourning should not mourn until their parents are gone. Those who follow others should mourn even when their parents are dead. If a concubine leaves a female ruler, she should not mourn for the female ruler's son. According to etiquette, there is no sacrifice without the king. The crown prince does not lower his wife's parents; his wife is the same as the son of a senior official. If the father is a scholar and the son is the emperor or a prince, then sacrifices are made to the emperor or a prince, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If the father is the emperor or a prince and the son is a scholar, sacrifices are made to the scholar, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If a woman leaves the house when she is in mourning, she should be removed. If she leaves the house before mourning for her parents, she should be mourned for three years. If she leaves the house after mourning, it is over. If she returns without mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time; if she returns after mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time.
The betrothal gift is seven intermediaries for the upper duke, five intermediaries for the marquis and earl, and three intermediaries for the viscount and the man, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble. When introducing and conveying orders, a gentleman dares not question the one he respects, which is the utmost respect. After three concessions, he can convey the order, enter the temple gate after three concessions, reach the steps after three bows, and ascend after three concessions, so as to show respect and humility.
Wang Changshi said to Jiang Daoqun: "People can have what they should have, but they don't have to have it; people can have what they should not have, but I must not have it."
A senior official starts to work at the age of seventy. If he is not thanked, he must be given a stick and forced to do the work with women. Go to all directions, riding in a safe carriage. If one calls himself "old man", he will use his name when he is in his own country; if one is asked about something in another country, he will be sure to tell them the customs.
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