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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
When a sage sits south and listens to the world, he must first do five things, but the people do not follow them. One is to govern relatives, two is to reward merits, three is to promote the virtuous, four is to use the capable, and five is to preserve love. If one of the five is obtained in the world, the people will have no shortage and no one will be unsatisfied. If one of the five is wrong, the people will not die. When a sage sits south and governs the world, he must start with the human way.
The record of the crown prince says: When he arrives at the door of the great bedroom in the morning and evening, he asks the eunuch: "How are you today?" The eunuch says: "Today is good." The crown prince will be happy. If there is something wrong, the eunuch will tell the crown prince, and the crown prince will look worried and dissatisfied. The eunuch says "return to the beginning", and then he will return to the beginning. When the food is served in the morning and evening, the crown prince must be there to check the cold and warm. After the food is served, ask what is delicious. He must know what is served, and order the chef to take care of it, and then leave. If the eunuch says "illness", the crown prince will take care of it in person. The food prepared by the chef must be looked at with respect; the medicine for illness must be tasted personally. If the food is good, the prince can eat it; if the food is poor, the prince cannot be full; until it returns to the original state, then it will return to the original state.
When Zuo Taichong first completed his "San Du Fu", people at that time ridiculed him and he was not satisfied. Later showed it to Mr. Zhang. Zhang said, "These two capitals can be three, but your literary talent is not well-respected in the world, so it is better to find a scholar with high reputation." Si then consulted Huangfu Mi. Mi sighed when he saw it, and then wrote a preface for it. As a result, all those who were not disloyal to the previous prime minister bowed their heads and praised him.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. 鈥
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