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Yang Dezuo was Wei Wu's chief clerk. At that time, he was building the Xiangguo Gate and had just begun to construct the rafters. Wei Wu came out to take a look and had someone write the word "活" on the door before leaving. When Yang saw it, he ordered it to be destroyed. After finishing, he said: "The word 'live' in the word 'door' means 'wide'. Wang Zheng thinks the door is too big."
Therefore, only after the behaviors of filial piety, brotherhood, loyalty and obedience are established, can one be a man; only after being a man can one govern others. Therefore, the sage kings valued etiquette. Therefore, it is said that the cap is the beginning of etiquette and the most important thing for good things. Therefore, the ancients valued the cap; the cap was performed in the temple; the temple was performed to respect things; respect things and dare not take the initiative to do things; do not take the initiative to do things, so they humble themselves and respect the ancestors.
All the servants in Zheng Xuan's family were educated. Once he sent a maid to do something that did not please him, so he was about to beat her. As he was about to explain his story, Xuan became angry and ordered someone to drag chopsticks into the mud. After a while, another maid came and asked, "Why are you in the mud?" She replied, "I went to complain and met with his anger."
Wang Zijing went from Kuaiji to Wu and heard that Gu Pijiang had a famous garden. I didn't recognize the host at first, so I went straight to his house, where I saw Gu gathering his guests and friends for a drunken feast. When the king finished his travels, he gave orders about his likes and dislikes as if no one was around. Gu was furious and said, "To be arrogant to the master is not polite; to be arrogant to others because of one's status is not the right way. If one loses these two, he is not worthy of being a human being and is a fool!" He then drove his attendants out of the door. The king turned around alone in the carriage, looked left and right, but saw no one coming. Then he ordered the chopsticks to be sent out the door, looking disdainful.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
When Ruan Ji's mother died, he enjoyed wine and meat in the presence of King Wen of Jin. Si Li He Zeng was also present and said, "Your Excellency is ruling the world with filial piety, but Ruan Ji is in a state of mourning and is seen drinking and eating meat in front of you. You should exile him overseas to correct the morals." King Wen said, "The successor to the throne is so disgraced, and you cannot share my sorrow. What's the point? Besides, drinking and eating meat when one is ill is a mourning custom!" Ji continued to drink and eat, looking calm.
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