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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Emperor Ming asked Marquis Zhou, "Some people compare you to Xi Jian. What do you think?" Zhou said, "Your Majesty, there is no need to compare you to Xi Jian."
After Wang Chen's death, the Western Town was still unsettled and all the nobles in the court had high hopes. At that time, Yin Zhongkan was under Fang Yue's tutelage. Although he held an important position, his status and reputation were low, and people did not approve of him. Jin Xiaowu wanted to promote his close associates, so he made Yin Jingzhou. The matter was settled, but the edict had not been issued. Wang Xun asked Yin, “Why hasn’t anyone dealt with Shaanxi yet?” Yin replied, “Someone has already done it.” Wang Li asked the ministers, and they all said “No.” The king thought that he must have the talent and the position, so he asked again, "Is it not me?" Yin said, "It seems not." That night the king ordered Yin to be employed. The king said to his confidants, "How can a eunuch be entrusted with such a task? Zhongkan's action will be the beginning of the country's demise."
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
When Wei Xima was about to cross the river, he looked miserable and said to his attendants, "Seeing this vast expanse of land, I feel overwhelmed with emotions. If I still have feelings, who can stop me from feeling this way?"
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
Prince Jing and Yang Sui were good friends. Sui was a noble and honest man. He was a secretary of the Central Secretariat but died young. The king mourned deeply and said to Dongting: "It is a pity for the country!"
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