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Yuan Boyan finished writing biographies of famous scholars and met Xie Gong. The Duke laughed and said, "I once told you about the affairs of Jiangbei, but I just pretended to be cunning! Yanbo then wrote it down with chopsticks."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Ji Wuzi finished his bed, he found that Du Shi’s burial was under the west steps, and he asked for joint burial there, and he agreed. He entered the palace but did not dare to cry. Wuzi said, “Joint burial is not an ancient practice. It has not been changed since the time of Duke Zhou. I allow the big but not the small, why?” He ordered him to cry.
Ruan Xuanzi often walked, with a hundred coins hanging on the end of his walking stick. When he arrived at a hotel, he would drink heavily alone. Even though he was a noble and powerful person in the time, he refused to go.
When Xie Renzu was eight years old, Xie Yuzhang was about to see off a guest. At that time, he had already attained enlightenment from his words and entered the upper stream. Everyone sighed and said, "He is the younger Yan Hui sitting here." King Renzu said, "Without Ni Fu sitting here, how can we distinguish Yan Hui?"
Zi said: "A gentleman refuses the noble but not the humble, refuses the rich but not the poor, then chaos will be eliminated." Therefore, a gentleman would rather let people float above food than let food float above others. Confucius said: "If you give way to wine, beans and meat and accept the bad, the people will offend the teeth; if you give way to the seat on the lapel and sit down, the people will offend the noble; if you give way to the position in the court and accept the humble, the people will offend the monarch. "The Book of Songs says: "The people are unscrupulous, resenting one another; accepting titles without yielding them, they have finally died." Confucius said: "A gentleman values others and despises himself, and puts others before himself, so the people will yield to him." Therefore, call someone else's ruler "Jun", and call yourself "Guojun". Confucius said: "In the interests of salary, those who die first and those who live later, then the people will not be disloyal; those who die first and those who survive later, then the people can be trusted." The Book of Songs says: "The thoughts of the former rulers were kept by the gullible." With this, the people still disloyalty died and cried without complaint.
Xie Huer was a writer and once wrote the biography of Wang Kan. I don’t know what kind of person I am, so I ask Mr. Xie for advice. Xie Gong replied, "The descendants of the family were also treated well. Kan is the son of Lie, the aunt's brother of Ruan Qianli, and Pan Anren is a middle-class man. As Anren's poem says, 'Your son is close to your aunt, and my father is only my uncle.' He is Xu Yun's son-in-law."
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