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The Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淲hen a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. 鈥漈he Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by completing his parents?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淎 gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents鈥 name!鈥 Confucius then said, 鈥淚n ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.鈥
The way to display the utensils is to display more and then accept them sparingly; to display sparingly and accept them all is fine. When rushing to the funeral of a brother, first go to the tomb and then the family, and cry for the position. For the funeral of someone you know, cry in the palace and then the tomb. A father shall not be the son of many sons and the outsiders shall be the next. Brothers with princes shall be beheaded. For minor mourning, the belt, hemp and linen shall not be cut off, and the woman shall return to repay the loss.
When Lezheng Zichun's mother died, he did not eat for five days. He said, "I regret it. Since my mother didn't know my feelings, how can I use my feelings!"
When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
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