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He's not my type.

What is the three-year mourning period? It is said that it is to be established according to the feelings, so as to decorate the group, distinguish the relatives and the relatives, and practice the rules, but it cannot be increased or decreased. Therefore, it is said that there is no way to change. The wound is big and the time is long, and the pain is severe and the recovery is slow. The three-year mourning period is established according to the feelings, so as to be the most painful. Cutting the mourning clothes and wearing a stick, living in a lean-to, eating porridge, sleeping on straw and pillows, is to decorate the most painful. The three-year mourning period ends in twenty-five months; the grief is not over, the longing is not forgotten, but the mourning is ended in this way. Isn’t it that there is a limit to sending off the dead and a limit to reviving the living? All living creatures between heaven and earth, with blood and breath, must have knowledge, and all sentient creatures know how to love their own kind. Now, if a large bird or beast loses its flock, after a month or more, it will return to its hometown, fly back and forth, cry, hesitate, and then leave. Even small birds, such as sparrows, still chirp for a while before leaving. Therefore, no one with blood and breath knows better than humans, so humans love their relatives until death. If you are with a person who is obsessed with adultery, he will forget about his death in the morning and follow him in the evening, which is no better than birds and beasts. How can they live together without chaos? If you are with a gentleman who is well-mannered, the three-year mourning period will be completed in twenty-five months, like a team of horses passing through a gap, but it will continue, which is endless. Therefore, the ancient kings set up the middle and set rules for them, so that they can form a culture and reason, and then they will let it go.

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The great officials of various countries, when entering the emperor's country, call themselves the so-and-so scholar; they call themselves the accompanying minister so-and-so. They call themselves the son outside, and the old man of the widowed monarch in their own country. The envoy calls himself so-and-so. The emperor does not speak out, and the princes do not give names.

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Wang Zijing said: "Going up the Shanyin Road, the mountains and rivers complement each other, making people overwhelmed. In autumn and winter, it is especially difficult to be damaged."

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Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

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