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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
During the funeral of Confucius, two or three disciples all wore mourning clothes and went out. They wore mourning clothes when they were in a group, but not when they went out.
Xun Fengqian and his wife were very close. In winter, when his wife suffered from a fever, he went out to the courtyard to cool himself down, and then used his body to warm the fever. After his wife died, Feng Qian also died young. Therefore he was ridiculed by the world. Feng Qian said: "A woman's virtue is not worth mentioning, her beauty should be the main thing." Pei Ling heard this and said: "This is a matter of excitement, not a statement of great virtue. I hope that future generations will not forget this saying."
The Buddhist scriptures believe that by cultivating the spirit, one can become a sage. Jian Wen said: "I don't know if I can reach the pinnacle of achievement. However, the merits of training cannot be denied."
A guest once asked Chen Jifang, "What merits and virtues did your lord Taiqiu have to deserve such high reputation?" Jifang replied, "My lord is like a laurel tree growing on the edge of Mount Tai, which is ten thousand feet high and unfathomably deep. It is moistened by the sweet dew above and moistened by the deep spring below. At that time, how could the laurel tree know the height of Mount Tai and the depth of the deep spring? It didn't know whether it had merits or not!"
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