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Ziyou asked Confucius, and Confucius said, "No! Establish the grandson."
Wang Gong was with his father in Kuaiji, and Wang Dazi also came to pay homage to his father's tomb. Gong went to the tomb to see them for a while. The two men were on good terms with each other, so he returned after more than ten days. The father asked Gong, "Why did you take so many days?" He replied, "I was talking to A Da, and he was so busy that he couldn't go home." The father then said to him, "I'm afraid A Da is not your friend." In the end, they became friends, and it turned out to be just as he said.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: “Stop! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.” Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: “May I ask how it goes? ”The Master said, “Respect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.” The Master said, “Serving others takes away kindness and benevolence.” The Master said, “Master, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.” Zigong crossed the table and replied, “May I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?” The Master said, “Ritual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.”
Zi Zhang was ill, so he summoned Shen Xiang and said to him: "A gentleman says 'end', a villain says 'death'; I am almost there today!" Zeng Zi said: "The first funeral is held, and the rest is held in the pavilion?" Zeng Zi said: "For small merits, there is no position, it is the etiquette of the alley. When Zi Si cried for his sister-in-law, it was a position, and women danced; when Shen Xiang cried for Si, it was the same."
Wang Youjun got someone to write the preface to the Lanting Collection and the preface to the Jingu Poems, and he was also told that he was comparable to Shi Chong, and he was very pleased.
When Wang Pingzi was sent out to be the governor of Jingzhou, Taiwei Wang and other wise men came to see him off promptly. At that time, there was a big tree in the courtyard, and there was a magpie's nest on it. Pingzi took off his clothes and towel, and went up the tree to pick the magpie. The cool clothes were caught on the branches and then taken off. When the magpie returned, he played with it, looking calm and composed, as if no one was around. The Taoist priest sat high above the Prime Minister and always lay beside him. When he saw Bian Ling, he changed his expression and said, "He is a man of etiquette."
〔There are ten relationships in sacrifice〕Spreading the banquet and setting up the same table is to rely on the gods; calling the gods in the room and leaving the temple is the way to communicate with the gods. The ruler welcomes the sacrifice but not the corpse, which is to separate suspicion. If the corpse is outside the temple gate, it will be suspected by the minister, but if it is inside the temple, it will be safe for the ruler; if the ruler is outside the temple gate, it will be suspected by the ruler, but if it is inside the temple, it will be safe for the minister and the son. Therefore, those who do not leave the temple are clear about the righteousness between the ruler and the minister. In the way of sacrifice, the grandson serves the king's father's corpse. The one who serves the corpse is the son of the one who offers sacrifice; the father faces north to serve it, so as to clarify the way for the son to serve the father. This is the relationship between father and son. On the fifth day of the funeral, the king washes the jade cup and offers it to the nobles; on the seventh day of the funeral, the king offers the jade cup to the great officials; on the ninth day of the funeral, the king offers the scattered cup to the scholars and the officials, all in order of seniority. This is to clarify the order of superiority and inferiority.
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